A Mindset Change Is What You Really Need

  This is a very common scenario: Things start going bad in an individual’s life and one of the first things that comes to their mind is that “things have to change.” Most times what these people are really saying is, “other things need to change.” When people find their lives in a rut, they feel they need to shake things up and bring excitement back into their lives. This is just what they feel they need to do to get their life back on track. Unfortunately many people aren’t shaking up what needs to be shaken up and that is themselves.

It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault

  When life is not going as you have planned and you are living a life of boredom and frustration it is easy to point fingers at other people, places or things…isn’t it. You might feel a change in spouse, career or home is just what you need so you drop your boring life and everything that was attached to it and venture off for your new life with excitement and enthusiasm! Things are going to be so much different this time, so much better.

  So there you are loving your new life in your new home, your new career and your new spouse! Life is great! Fast forward a year, maybe two and now you find yourself in the same rut as before. You’re not happy, you’re frustrated and depressed – life is just as it was before. What happened?

 ***You didn’t change what really needed to change…you.***

What? I’m supposed To Be Responsible For My Own Happiness?

  You got it! If you want happiness in your relationships, career or in the community in which you live, you need to look no further than yourself. That is where all your happiness begins and ends. This thought is far too painful to consider for many people so they go on in their lives pointing fingers. Remember, when one finger is pointing away from you, there are three more pointing right back at you (as it should be).

  I have worked 30 years of my life for UPS where I have performed various jobs there. Beginning at age 17, I worked the docks (loading and sorting packages). I have supervised employees, delivered packages -yes that was me in the brown shorts, delivering packages to your front door- and I also drove the big semi-trailer rigs. With each new job position brought the excitement of new challenges to overcome and new things to learn and with time the excitement faded and my restlessness crept back into my life which affected my personal and family life. Yes, I was that person who used to look to other people, places and things to bring happiness into my life. Once I realized it was my responsibility to bring happiness into life and not the other way around, everything changed.

Slawek Polinski

 >

Goal Setting Basics

  Here we go, another article on goal setting. You may have heard some of these tips before:

  Now this is just a basic outline on setting and achieving goals which can definitely be broken down into greater detail. Many people know what needs to be done to successfully accomplish their goals and yet many people fall short on their goals.


Why?

1. They aren’t doing the basics.
2. Many people know what they should do and either aren’t doing it consistently or not at all.

  The above steps I have outlined are, as I stated, “the basics” in goal setting and to be effective in achieving goals you must do the basics…consistently and daily.


Here’s an example:

  All great athletes and ball players know in order to have the best chance in performing flawlessly they must be solid in their basics. If they are not it will open the door to errors and defeat. Just having knowledge of the basics is not good enough to succeed. They must be practiced daily and consistently to have the best chance of victory.

 The same applies to setting goals. Just knowing what to do is not enough, the basics of goal setting must be practiced to be successful. For many years I couldn’t see the benefit in writing my goals down. “I don’t have to write them down because I have a good memory,” I thought. Today it does not surprise me why my past goals were seldom accomplished.

 Goal Setting Review

  So lets review:

  Tip:

The the first thing I do everyday when I sit down at my desk, is to write my daily action steps on post-it notes which I stick to the bottom of my computer monitor. I spend much of my time during the day writing, creating speeches and programs as well as updating my blog so these daily goals are in front of me a good portion of the day. As I complete a task I pull it down and throw it out. This routine has increased my productivity by a considerable amount. Find a place in your home or office where your goals or action steps can be in clear view for you to see. This will help keep life’s distractions from keeping you from your goals.

Slawek Polinski








 >

The Fear of “What If?”

  This morning as I am getting myself ready to head out for my doctor’s appointment, a thought entered my mind about my past. I have been challenged with spinal issues for about two years now. About 18 months ago I had surgery on my neck and today I will find out whether my doctor will be recommending surgery for my back. I have been through about six months of physical therapy and I have also had a couple of epidural injections and the symptoms keep returning. So today my spine specialist will tell me whether he feels we have done all we could conservatively and now it is time for surgery.

  There was a point in my life not too long ago when I would have been pacing the floor before an appointment such as this one. Some of the thoughts racing through my mind would look something like this:

  Does this sound familiar? Have you ever obsessed over situations that were not in your control? Did you fall victim to the “what ifs?”

Where Did The Fear Go?

  One day it just dawned on me! It was like someone flipped the light switch and I saw everything with intense clarity. I remember saying to myself, “I have always handled every one of life’s challenges that have come my way in the past and there isn’t any logical reason why that would change now.” Sure, some of life’s challenges brought with them more struggles than others and some were even unpleasant and yet I am still here and still kicking strong today.

  I have the above sentence posted up in my office to remind myself that yes, I am capable of handling it. Keeping that one thought in my mind has helped to keep my levels of fear to a minimum. You cannot control every aspect of your life (that is just the way life is), although you do have control over your response to what life brings your way.

 Do not underestimate your ability to to overcome and succeed. Do not allow your imagination to blow the situation out of proportion and make it into something it is not because that creates an open door for fear to walk through. Remind yourself of the positive things you have accomplished in your and keep those thoughts in the front of your mind.

Tell yourself:

  “I have always been able to handle all of life’s challenges in the past and there isn’t any reason to believe I can’t handle this challenge today.”

Slawek Polinski

>

From The Couch Of Dreams

  There I was, in my favorite recliner, a beer in one hand, the remote in the other and I was watching a NASCAR race for over 4 hours! It was beautiful outside, the sun was shinning, the temperature was a perfect 85 degrees F. and there I was with my feet up in the air, in a dimly lit rec. room, watching cars go around in circles for 4 hours. The next week I was doing the same thing all over again. Who said practice doesn’t make perfect?

  There is nothing wrong with watching a sporting event or a little mindless television on occasion. For me, back then, it was every occasion. If it wasn’t racing, then it was baseball or basketball or football and do I dare admit I even watched a little Jerry Springer?? No, I can’t admit that (not yet anyway). Balance is the key to any life and I tipped the scales of my life heavily to one side (I also began tipping the bathroom scales) right into the crapper. My life stunk and I couldn’t even smell it. So there I was feet up in the air in my recliner, watching cars go around an around while my life was going nowhere. Yes my feet were blocking my vision so every now and then I would muster up enough energy to move my feet so I could clearly see the television hanging on the wall.

 …To A Life of Purpose

  I was in a job that did not challenge me and my life lacked passion. Like many people, I felt this is the life I made for myself and it is too late to change things. “It is what it is and that was that.” So one of my pleasures in life back then was sitting my but on the couch, turning on the TV and  having some ( actually many) ”cold ones.” “Yeah I got it made,” I thought.

  Eventually this routine became very old and no longer satisfied what was left of my soul. Next, frustration and depression started setting in and then so did the process of self destruction. I was so deep in my own crap that I could not see why my dreams for the future were not coming true for me. I could not see because my feet were blocking my vision. It was not until I did something very profound that cleared up my sight. It was not until I moved my feet to where they belonged (under me) and began moving them that I was able to see why success wasn’t  coming my way. Success wasn’t supposed to come my way, I have to move towards success and that requires movement.

 ” Your journey begins the moment you start moving from where you are to where you want to be – never before.”

Slawek Polinski








>

 If You Can Dream It, Can You Do It?

  Chances are, if you have listened to some motivational speakers, listened to their recordings or read their books you most likely have heard this phrase.

“Dream Big and You Can Do Anything!”

  Is this true? Can you really do and have anything just by dreaming big? By now millions of people have either seen the movie or read the book, “The Secret” which makes it look that easy. Did you spend your money recklessly in the past and now you are buried under a mountain of debt? Don’t worry about it, just “dream big” of checks coming in the mail and people will start sending you money for no reason. They will be compelled by some force of nature, to write out a check in your name (this is cool because they don’t even know you) and send it to you. I am putting myself out on a limb by saying, “this is a bunch of crap!”  The sad thing is, this movie is so popular because so many people want to believe they can get something for nothing. They love the thought of sitting on their ass in their recliner and all their dreams coming true. Wake up people, your dreams will not come true unless you put some action behind those dreams. If you want checks to arrive in your mailbox, what actions are you going to take to make money? Yes you actually have to do something.

 If I Put Action Behind My Dreams…Now Can I Do It?

  I’m going to burst your bubble here and tell you, no you cannot do everything and anything, though you can do much more than you are doing now and much more than you thought you were capable of. The key word to setting goals is be realistic. For example, I love football and always was very passionate about the game and I know that no matter how big I dream and how much I work out, I will not be playing for the NFL. I am 47 and even if I hire the best trainers available, this dream will never be a reality…it is not realistic.

Action + Realistic Goals(Dreams) = Success

   As I said earlier, you are capable of achieving much more in your life than you are currently and I know you have it in you to really surprise yourself and others, so challenge yourself and stretch your comfort zone. Set some big goals for yourself that will really push you to your greatness. Now break that big goal down into smaller action steps. Each action step is a mini goal for you to accomplish and as you conquer each one your self-confidence will be elevated and your energy will be replenished to continue on to your final destination. Before you know it that big goal isn’t so big anymore and it is within reach, your dream has come true.

Slawek Polinski

>

Life Is Changing, Are You Changing With It?

  One of the valuable life lessons I discovered through 28 years of marriage and 25 years of parenting is that life is constantly changing and the people in your life are constantly changing. Do you fight these changes or do you accept and nurture them? Fighting change is the same as fighting growth. In our 28 years together I can say that I have been married to at least six different versions of my wife and I’m sure she feels the same way about her life with me. I am very fortunate to be part of her evolution as a woman and individual.

 

 Change Is Not Always Easy

  Change brings uncertainty and uncertainty strikes fear in many. Keep in mind, through all the changes you have moved though, no matter how difficult they were, you have made it out on the other side just fine. You were capable of handling change then ( give yourself credit ) and you are just as capable now.

  So take a deep breath and acknowledge that this is just a process of life and you now embrace it fully. You are ready to change with life and you will not allow yourself to be stuck in life.

Slawek Polinski

>

We all encounter adversity in life and it is the way we respond to adversity that determines the quality of life we live. Will you choose to be a victim of your circumstance or will you be a victor and overcome the obstacles that life presents you?

>

Is Your Life a Familiar Routine?

Many people live lives that are very predictable,they practically do the same thing day-in and day-out and they can perform these tasks without even giving them much thought. It is almost as if their life is on auto-pilot or cruise control. They basically can go through their daily life with their eyes closed. Though this might seem to be convenient, it carries many dangers.

 Don’t Get In a Rut

 Is your life in a rut? Have you lost your passion for living? Do you know what your passions are any more?

 These are the dangers associated with living a life of routine. When you go through your life with your eyes closed you miss out on all the blessings and opportunities that come your way. You will miss your opportunities in life because you are incapable of seeing them.

Live an Inspired Life

  It is time to shake things up a bit and break the same boring daily routine. Life is not meant to be a spectator sport, it is meant to be participated in. You cannot be something in life if you do not do something in life. Happiness in life comes from taking action, in your life and in the lives of others.

Go out and Live!

Slawek Polinski

The International Man of Action

>

 Would You Like To Add An Extra Day To Your Week?

  I have heard many people say that if they only had an extra day in their week, they would find the motivation to make positive changes in their lives. They are so busy that they just don’t have any time for themselves. If they only had an extra day they would be able to make the changes necessary to transform their lives for the better.

Have you ever heard this? Have you said this?

 Chances are you have plenty of time, it is just that you don’t have the proper control of your time. We live in a great technological era with with so many electrical devices that make our lives very convenient and at the same time rob us of our time without being aware of  it. By being conscious of how you spend ( priority time scheduling) your time to minimize distractions such as with email, phone, social media and television you will be surprised at how much time you can save in your day, your week.

  Take control and take your time – Take control of your life!

Slawek Polinski
Men OF Action

 Are You Willing To Change Your Life?

  I talk with many people that project a similar message which is:

 ”I am unhappy in my life right now, I need to change things.”

 When I discuss with them the things they are unhappy with and then give them suggestions for action steps they can take to change things around for themselves so they can begin to transform their lives, many times what I hear in response are excuses for why they can’t. The majority of the excuses I hear revolve around time, money or family and the real reason for these excuses is fear.

Why Would Anyone Fear Positive Change?

 The truth is most people are afraid of any change even if it is for the better. Their life might be miserable and at the same time it is familiar, they know what to expect everyday,… no surprises. A common example is the spouse who is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship and yet refuses to leave. They might be living a life of hell and it is a familiar hell and they know they have handled it in the past so they continue on in their familiar, painful life. A change might be better for them but what if…? The fear of the unknown always stops them.

You Have To Take That First Step To Change

  We have been conditioned from an early age that failure is bad and we get punished for failing. What happens as a result is we discover very early that if we avoid doing things we are unfamiliar with, we avoid failure and most importantly, we avoid punishment. It is better not to try than to be punished.

  This is a mindset that can be changed and it doesn’t have to be scary. First, you need to throw out the idea that failure is bad. As a matter of fact you shouldn’t even refer to it as failure, just feedback to achieve your desired results. Sometimes you have to figure out how not to do something in order to discover how to do it well. Second, it is important that you take even small steps daily to expand your comfort zone. The more you attempt the small challenges in your life or small opportunities to enhance your life, the more comfortable you will become in doing so. That uneasy feeling in your stomach will change from fear to excitement as you venture on your next adventure.

 Living the life you were meant to live starts with small steps and only you can take that first step. How bad do you want life of fulfillment?

Slawek Polinski

“Men of Action”

>