So What Is The Bottom Line On My Money?

   So after reading the first two parts of this article, we know that:

•  The way we relate to money today has much to do with the way our parents and mentors related to money.
•  In my life there was a lot of guilt surrounding money due to the struggles in my parent’s lives.

   What I will cover in this 3rd and final segment to this article is how my past influenced my relationship with money.

 Where’s My Money? – Show Me The Money!

  Looking back on my younger years, I realize that I never was able to save much money. It seemed, I would spend it just as fast as I made it. That really didn’t concern me too much because I was happy I didn’t have to ask my dad for money any longer, for the things I needed. It was very freeing for me to be able to have my own money – guilt free.

  Years would pass and I got married and a couple years later my wife and I had a son, and a few years after that a beautiful daughter. The funny thing is, as I grew older my money issues stayed the same. I worked hard, made a decent living and yet never managed to save or invest much. I always made sure my children got whatever they wanted because I was not going to subject them to the guilt that I had to go through. No Way!

 What is My Money Mindset Now?

  Even though my wife and I managed to save and invest as we matured in life, I never felt we were doing as well as we should and that always puzzled me, until I took the assessment on money at the seminar I was at. I realized it wasn’t how I valued money, and more to do with how I valued myself. The feelings of guilt I had at that young age, asking my dad for money, transpired to me feeling unworthy to having money and that is why as I grew older, I would spend money as fast as I made it.

 How Do You Change Your Money Mindset?

  The first step to any change is awareness, followed by conscious and persistent action. It is not easy to change years of bad habits and it takes much discipline. I suggest investing in yourself with reading, financial coaching and always be aware where you are financially by having a set routine and system for your finances.

 So take a close look at where you are financially and ask yourself; “am I making as much as I could?’ “Am I saving and investing as much as I could?” Am I charging my clients and customers what I am really worth?” You might find the answers to be more about you than the economy, job market, stock market and other external circumstances.

Slawek Polinski

Men of Action

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What Are Your Money Issues? Part 1 Recap

  In “What Are Your Money Issues? Part 1″ I discussed how we as individuals relate to money and many of our money beliefs and money blocks were formed early in life. This is a common bond the majority of us share.

 In this installment of this article I will share with you my personal story and how it affected me in my relationship with money.

My Story and Money Issue Origins

  The easiest way for me to explain how our relationship with money is influenced by outside sources and circumstances is to give you an insight to my story, my background.

  I was born in Poland in the 1960′s and both my mom and dad  grew up on small farms near each other. They worked very long hours everyday to provide for their families and there was little time for leisure and recreation. They grew and raised everything they needed to survive on their farms and what was left over they sold to earn money for the things they needed. Money was scarce and there wasn’t much left over.

  Neither my mom nor dad made it past the sixth grade and when they were between the ages of 12-14, WWII was raging literally in their back yard. Their families were forced to live in root cellars while the German soldiers turned their homes into headquarters, while consuming everything their farms had to offer. Everything they had was taken away from them in an instant while they were living in fear. When the soldiers left everything they owned was gone or destroyed.

 Our Money Boat Sets Sail

  Let’s fast forward to 1965……

I arrive in the United States with my mom and dad, along with my older brother and two older sisters. Yes, this picture is actually of my family and no, we are not “off the boat.” Actually we were just waiting to get on!

  Many years would pass from that day we arrived and you would hear my dad tell the same story over and over, how he brought his family here with $3.00 to his name and how hard he had to work to make ends meet. Both my mom and dad worked very hard for their money here in the U.S.- working in sweatshops and factories and as we were growing up they made sure they reminded my siblings and me how hard they had to work to support us. As a young boy there was was much guilt associated with asking my mom and dad for money. I knew every time I asked I would hear the same routine over and over such as “money doesn’t grow on trees,” “do you know how hard I had to work for this?” “When are you going to start making some money?” Any of these sound familiar?

 This guilt was a part of my life for many years even after I moved out of my mom and dad’s home and started a family of my own. I remember vowing never to make my children feel any guilt over money and so I did the exact opposite of my mom and dad and gave them everything they wanted. I knew after awhile this might not have been the best approach either, and what surprised me even more was that my issue with money ran deeper than just rebellion against the guilt I felt about money as a child.

  The assessment I took gave me an insight about money I have never been able to see before and in the next and final part of this article I will discuss that and what it means to me.

Slawek Polinski

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How Do You Value Money?

  This is the first part of 3 articles on the subject of how people value money, their challenges with money and where these perceptions and challenges derived from. This is a lengthy article so I broke it down into three parts for easier reading.

  The topic of money is something everyone can relate to. It does not matter which country you call your home, in order to provide for yourself and your family you need some form of currency. There are some people who believe money is the root of all evil, while others look at money as the foundation for their dreams coming true. My belief is money is neither good nor evil, it’s just money and it is the people and their intention behind the money that determines whether it is for the good or evil.

  I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend a seminar recently and one of the topics of discussion was how different people relate to and value money in different ways. We all were given an assessment and the results gave us insights to how we relate to different areas of our life including money.

We All Share Something in Common With Money

  I was very intrigued and surprised when people began sharing the results of their assessment with the group and what the results meant to them. There was a common denominator in everyone’s story, including my own. The one thing that we all shared in this exercise was our money values and challenges were formed at a very early age. It mattered not whether the challenge was:

• Over spending
• Over saving or hording
• Not having clear money goals
• Not keeping track of finances
• Not making enough money
• Fear of losing money….along with many more challenges.

 The one thing that bound us together was the way our parents related to money and their finances had a significant impact on how we now value money today.

  As I continue with this article, I want to make clear this is not going to be one of those “poor me, my mom and dad screwed up my life” articles.  I believe as adults we are responsible for the decisions we make in life and being a parent myself, I also believe the majority of parents do the best they know how. That being said, very few will argue the point that the way parents view life and life’s circumstances will directly influence the views of their children as I know my views have influenced my son and daughter.

 In part 2 of “What Are Your Money Issues,” I will share my personal story and how it affected my relationship with money.

  If you would like more information on the assessment, how you can take it and what it can improve your life please contact me at slawek@menofaction.com.

Slawek Polinski

Men of Action

I Would Love to, But…

 It is amazing how certain words we say can make the difference between accomplishing something and not getting something done. The vocabulary we use in public or in the privacy of our own mind does determine the outcome of our intentions whether we want them to or not. The word “but” is commonly used by many people and did you know, when you use the word “but” you negate everything that is said before it?

 Here are a couple of examples:

•  I would like to go running today but it is cold out. What you are really saying is ” I won’t go running today because it is cold out.”
• I would love to quit my job and start my own business but it is a lot of work. In this statement what you are really telling yourself is even though starting your own business is appealing to you, it is just too much work.

  Quit Resting on Your Buts

 Let’s rewrite the above statements and replace the word “but” with the word “and.” As you say these statements out loud notice how different they feel just by replacing that one word.

• I would like to go running and it is cold out. In this sentence you are stating your intention to run and you are also acknowledging the fact it is cold outside so you will probably dress accordingly.
• I would love to quit my job and start my own business and it is a lot of work. In this statement what you are telling yourself is that you want to start your own business and you are committed to doing the work necessary to see it through.

  I Am Committed to Change And…

  We are constantly programming ourselves for success or failure with the words we use in our lives. Be conscious of the words you use and eliminate from your vocabulary any negative words or words that take away your power. If  these negative programming words have been part of your everyday speech, it will take practice along time to change that habit and I know you are committed to to a better more prosperous life so you will do the work necessary for that change.


Slawek Polinski




 

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